In last Sunday mornings Parenting class we discussed the idea that most of what our children learn from their parents is “caught and not taught.” We often teach our children unintended lessons such as “how to raise your voice in an argument’, or “how to belittle the other person while proving your point”, or “how to be ungrateful when given a gift that you did not like.” Our children are always observing and often pick up on what they hear us say and see us do.
In a two parent household our children’s first observational experience is the relationship between mom and dad. If they see constant stress, confrontation, and hear “bad language”, and threats then they will begin to put into practice those same relationship behaviors with siblings, parents, and friends and later on, if not corrected their spouse. What they are picking up may be the same behavior their parents were exposed to when they were growing up. As much as we hate to admit it we tend to repeat what we grew up experiencing. The good news is that teaching bad behavior can end with us. Instead, by being aware that little eyes and ears are open we have opportunity to lovingly show godly behavior. Paul knew this was important and told the Philippians to live out what they saw in him.
Phil 4:8-9 (NLT) And now, dear brothers and sisters, let me say one more thing as I close this letter. Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. 9 Keep putting into practice all you learned from me and heard from me and saw me doing, and the God of peace will be with you.
Why not make a commitment today before God with your spouse that you will intentionally put into practice what Paul suggests to those at Philippi many years ago? Your changes will make a difference in the lives of future generations.
God Bless!
7 comments:
Very “insightful”, those children who have witness the “bad behavior” of adults often instinctively know it is wrong and will distant themselves from the offender or offenders, if possible if not possible to do so some children attach to and adopt the behavior of the dominate figure. This is normal and may be a self defense move on the part of a defenseless and helpless child who sees no other way out. “Bad language” does not bothers me much personally (at least not as much as bad intentions and the bad behavior that springs from it) I was exposed to so much of it and I could not leave, I nether encouraged or discouraged it, I made note of it and continued to work appearing unaffected by it. I chose not to use it knowing how ugly it is and that a quiet calm voice can be heard load as thunder among the roar of a nest of load mad hornets. I also know the damage the more subtle art of belittling others with jokes or “jabs” disguised as humor can do and some children see and know the damage it does. Belittling others is the tool of a bully and a coward. Being honest about a gift you don’t like but may need latter could be a good thing. I like Roger and I think he is a “good” man. I don’t know him personally but I believe he is a giving and insightful person; that I have gleaned from his writings that I have read. I have made that commitment and I encourage others to do the same. Those who have made that commitment know who they are and they are effecting generations of children.
Bravo, Bro Roger! Parents (or parents to be) really need to understand that their example is much stronger than their words of teaching. Little ones are born with the natural tendency to be selfish. Courtesy, respect, and honor have to be TAUGHT in so many ways.
I totally agree, Roger. As a kid, I learned lots of things from adults. When I said some of them myself, I got in trouble. I didn't understand why I was getting in trouble; after all, it was okay when they did it. Why wouldn't it be okay for me?
By the way, not trying to be rude or anything, but I think it's time for an update. :)
Correction is most effective by the early education through gentle and consistent example for the subject who did not have but is in need of that to prevent conflict and confusion for generations to come.
Rebel stated it well; iconsistant teachings demonstrated through play by liveing, creates problems in the form of conflict and confusion in the lives of those around us. 'Thank you, for shareing your life with us and teaching us.'
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